Juice This thinks football has had its share of what was a classic mistaken call in Tiger Woods’ favor at The Masters (as if it wasn’t going to go his way). We’ll share a few of your favorite NFL similarities. And, our draft preview uncovers some sleepers. No, literally, sleepers.
On a more serious note, we say farewell to one of football’s great legs, and voices, Pat Summerall, and remind everyone that even though here at Juice This we are not Celtics fans nor Bruins fans nor Patriots fans; we are, right now, Boston fans.
Tiger should’ve been disqualified at the Masters as golf officials clearly got it wrong. What if he’d have won? Yikes.
In the NFL though, some people have gotten away with it.
1965: Lambeau Field. Referee Jim Tunney keeps Titletown intact when he calls Don Chandler’s field goal boot “good” and the Packers tie the game and go on to win in overtime in a Western Conference playoff tilt against the Baltimore Colts (Baltimore? West? Oh well, Dallas still is East, right?). Chandler’s kick, meanwhile, at best, might have gone over one of the uprights, but definitely did not go between them. Tunney, to this day, still isn’t sure he got it right and is denied entry at Shula’s Steakhouses. The Colts, subsequently so enraged, would go on to lose focus and trade Bert Jones, draft and trade John Elway and finally just sneak out of Baltimore.
Fast forward to 1979: Oilers at Steelers, AFC Championship Game. Oilers wideout Mike Renfro gives birth to the foundation for the stupid, sucky “process-of-the-catch rule” when he gets both feet down in the end zone on a fade from Dan Pastorini to apparently put Houston back in the game, with the momentum. Replays from any and all angles show it’s a TD, with both feet inbounds and clear possession of the ball, which he secures by rolling it from one cradled arm to the other to cushion it as he hits the ground, the ball in his vice-like control. But it’s the Steelers who go on to win the game, and the Super Bowl. Detroit’s Calvin Johnson tries to replicate the catch years later against the Bears and gets the same result – screwed over.
2012: The Houston Texans steal a touchdown in perhaps the most-flagrant Tiger Woods-like call in football history as Detroit’s Jim Schwartz tosses the challenge flag while Houston’s Justin Dorsett, despite being clearly down, darts 81 yards for a TD. The Lions get a 15-yard penalty and Houston gets to keep the TD last Thanksgiving in the Texans' overtime win. Schwartz, mysteriously, does get to keep something – his job.
Later that year, the NFL mysteriously and suspiciously erases Green Bay coach Mike McCarthy’s identical use of his challenge flag, when he tosses it on a Vikings recovery of a Packers fumble in the end zone that McCarthy thinks should’ve been a TD for his team. The refs say McCarthy’s OK, though, as they claim they had already received a signal it would be reviewed before McCarthy tossed the challenge. Yeah, right! The Packers are an NFL flagship franchise. The Lions are, well, Ndamukong Suh. ‘Nuf said. Jim Schwartz is still reviewing whether he can challenge the Packers un-penalized challenge.
This review wouldn’t be complete without a Super Bowl snafu. In Super Bowl XLII, Eli Manning appears completely “in the grasp” by the Patriots pass rush. He miraculously spins away and heaves up a prayer on which David Tyree makes the most famous catch of a ball pinned against a helmet, which an aging and ineffective Rodney Harrison, auditioning for his job at NBC, fails to punch out. Manning’s miracle escape, meanwhile, is believed to be the first time a call that would’ve gone in Tom Brady’s favor instead goes to the quarterback against whom Brady is playing.
DRAFT DAY EVALUATIONS
Every year, there are prospects who have off-the-field issues. These “issues” are usually politely glossed over in the media, as excerpted from scouting reports. Here’s what USA Today reported a leading scouting service said, and then Juice This provides what they really mean and what coaching staffs say in the privacy of their war rooms.
He has “coachability and reliability problems.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
He has “concentration lapses.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
He was suspended “for failing to pass three drug tests.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
We “[Q]uestion [his] awareness of blitz pickup.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
“Struggles with academics and was suspended for … violation of team rules.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
“Off-field red flags [include] suspension after arrest.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
“Removed from team … for repeated failed drug tests and was suspended.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck.
“Was suspended for … repeated failure to pass a drug test.” In the war room: he’s a dumb f*ck. (How do you study for a drug test anyway?)
And finally, “Lacks upper and lower body flexibility.” In the war room: he’s an inflexible f*ck.
The SEC may produce the nation’s championship teams and some of its best players. But when it comes to escape artists, the Pac 12 rules.
Well, what do you call Pete Carroll and Chip Kelly?
OH ROCKY TOPLESS
I love Knoxville, but the University of Tennessee has to be the Oakland Raiders of the NCAA. Despite having highly regarded prospects Cordarrelle Patterson (WR, likely first-rounder), Justin Hunter (WR, early rounder), and Tyler Brae (QB, middle-rounder), they couldn’t beat an SEC team with a winning record and got their coach canned.
Maybe highly regarded draft prospects Da’Rick Rogers (WR) and Montori Hughes (DT) helped with that. They transferred out.
ORIOLES BEAT RAVENS
The NFL usually beats the crap out of Major League Baseball in attendance, TV ratings and overall popularity.
But in the true spirit of interleague play and in what’s believed to be the first MLB victory over the NFL, the Baltimore Orioles beat the Baltimore Ravens by making the defending Super Bowl champs begin next season on the road for the traditional Thursday night opener. The Orioles wouldn’t yield the shared parking lot between their stadiums by rescheduling their game that night, protecting the rights of all 14 of their pregame tailgaters. John Harbaugh tossed his challenge flag on the call but the refs told him it was already under review and he wouldn’t be penalized.
Unless you consider the defending Super Bowl champs playing their season opener on the road in Denver against Peyton Manning and the Broncos not to be a penalty.
Pat Summerall is gone. His voice lives on. So does that one big kick.
And Boston, while I don’t root for the Patriots (damn those Brady Rules), I do root for America. It’s sad that you’ve had to join the list that includes Oklahoma City, New York and D.C. But, like them, if New England sports are any example, you’ll bounce back.
The Bruins came back strong after the lockout. The Celtics rallied into the playoffs even after Rondo got hurt. And the Red Sox, despite the housecleaning and last year’s record, have rebounded for a good start.
So will the rest of you, Boston. So will the rest of you.
OK, you too Brady.
By: Howard Schlossberg