This week, Juice This looks at why Joe Flacco is overpaid (uh, no, we mean, why Aaron Rodgers is underpaid) and why Tony Romo owes me about half of that $130-plus million he just got. And if so many players are coming out about coming out, then why has the most-vocal of the coming-out voices, in essence, been silenced? Also, catching up with ZZZZ’s and the latest Tim Tebow controversy. Yeah, you heard right…
PAY THE MAN
What would you do with your money if you were a billionaire team owner? I’d give my money to my quarterback as opposed to leaving anything for my hottie wife who is probably 23 years younger than me. And in that case, since I’m 40, I am therefore about to get arrested, I think.
Or, as the veteran QB described her to the rookie QB in the late Peter Gent’s "The Franchise": “Best owner’s wife I ever f**ked.”
Didn’t you love it every time you heard the owners bitch and moan during the lockout that they have no money because the players have too much of it? Since then, they’ve handed out grotesque millions to future Hall of Famers Matt Flynn (3 years, $19.5 million), Kevin Kolb (2 years, $13 million), Matt Cassel (1 year, $4 million) and the immortal Super Bowl champ of renown (no, wait…), Tony Romo (somewhere around $132 million for 7 years).
The owners aren’t poor. They’re just poor-mouthed. They’re greedy dummies who let their emotions get the better of them when it comes to getting the players they want to land the big one. Sort of like you and me playing Fantasy Football.
Throughout all this, Joe Flacco ($120 million, 6 years) managed to leapfrog everyone, until Romo, who has won nothing but a contract, catapulted past him. Flacco has cost his team some jobs. Romo has cost his team some playoff games. And some playoff appearances.
Which guy would you rather have?
Give me Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers any day. He will supposedly get close to $25 million a year for five or six years. He deserves it. And a few receivers to whom to throw it.
ROMO OWES ME
A few weeks ago, when the national media went overboard with the 50 greatest moments of now 50-year-old Michael Jordan’s career, Juice This responded with football’s answer: Tony Romo’s 50 greatest moments.
We got as far as 19, only one was on the field (need we say what it was?) and the other 18 involved Jessica Simpson and/or Carrie Underthrown – uh, Underwood. Romo subsequently landed his big contract, $55 million of which is guaranteed. That buys a lot of gold…Albums.
We keep hearing it’s only a matter of time until we have an openly gay active professional athlete, perhaps in the NFL.
Rob Gronkowski says he’s OK with a gay teammate. Brian Urlacher and Walter Payton’s brother Eddie both say they never would’ve donated signed memorabilia to a charitable organization if they’d known it is overtly opposed to gay marriage. And the Bears said that same organization’s social views are not their own. Plus, the Seattle Seahawks distanced themselves from remarks by defensive end Chris Clemons, who said a gay teammate would be disruptive in the locker room.
And then the Baltimore Ravens cut Brendon Ayanbadejo. Just a Joe Flacco-contract casualty, right?
The chances of an openly gay player on an NFL roster are about as strong as the lights failing at the Super Bowl site for as long as – oh, 34 minutes, or the game actually being played in an outdoor stadium in a cold-weather market.
New England defensive back Devin McCourty recently had what was described as “minor shoulder surgery.”
Nobody cares. The Patriots only paid for it because it is believed he’s their only DB not to have been beaten by either Mario Manningham or Anquan Boldin in the last two years.
Looks like New York Giants’ wide receiver Victor Cruz is turning to rapper-turned-agent Jay-Z to be his man.
And Campbell’s Chunky line is subsequently becoming the official soup of the Brooklyn Nets.
Although it may or may not be the official soup of Tim Tebow, as Juice This asked in its Daily Spit the other day, if RG III, Russell Wilson and Colin Kaepernick are all running the Pistol, Michael Vick is still in the NFL and Vince Young might be back, then why doesn’t Trigger Tim Tebow have a starting job somewhere?
By: Howard Schlossberg