March Madness Needs a Pick-me-up in Round Two

March Sadness

Today, we’re going all Howard Schlossberg on our readers with this very accurate point-by-point breakdown of the first two days of March Madness. Which, if you’ve been paying attention, has been anything but. To the takes…

  • It’s March. Or so we keep hearing. But here’s the thing… we’re off to a pretty bland start.
  • All of the “upsets” have been extremely predictable. Every single one of them.
  • It’s okay to admit that this tournament has been… what’s a better word for boring? Uninteresting.
  • Did the selection committee realize Maurice Watson Jr. was injured before assigning Creighton a 6-seed?
  • Did the selection committee confuse Minnesota for Wisconsin before assigning the Golden Gophers a 5-seed? (Middle Tennessee might have won regardless.)
  • The best game of the tournament so far was Michigan/Oklahoma State.
  • Arkansas/Seton Hall was in the running, but the officials botched it at the end. If you’ve watched soccer even just once in your lifetime, you’d know that “trip” was textbook selling.
  • Northwestern/Vanderbilt would have gotten the nod had it not ended via an extremely brutal mental error at literally the worst possible time.
  • Imagine thinking Tom Izzo’s Spartans were going to lose in the first round for the second consecutive season. (I did.)
  • Why did Bill Self looked so pleased when his team scored 100 points Friday night… against UC Davis?
  • Moreover, how early is Gonzaga going to let us down this time? Don’t say we haven’t seen this film before.
  • If Cincinnati wins on Sunday, they’re going to the Elite Eight.
  • No, South Carolina isn’t as good as their 20-point win over Marquette may suggest. The Golden Eagles were 170th (1.7.0!) in adjusted defensive efficiency. Teams that rated higher than Marquette include: James Madison, Liberty, Sam Houston State, Fairfield, and so on.
  • Defensively, though, South Carolina are very good. Duke is still going to dismantle them.
  • How unhappy must Villanova be having to play the Wisconsin Badgers—struggles aside—in the second round of a tournament?
  • We need Middle Tennessee or Rhode Island to make a deep run in order for March Madness to be saved.
  • If your bracket is actually busted, perhaps you should seek help.

Has this year’s March Madness disappointed you?

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