Lost among the ending to the Dwightmare was the news that Royce White was traded to Philly. That means that we’re one re-signing away from Royce White, Andrew Bynum and Evan “the villain” Turner all being on the same team. I can’t overstate the joy this brings me. It has officially unseated the duo of Jimmer Fredette and DeMarcus Cousins as my favorite potential NBA reality show.
Can we force them to live together? Can we throw Nerlens Noel in there, too? Can we make Doug Collins their grumpy landlord? The possibilities here are endless. Just for fun, I’ve thrown together a few potential episodes of The Real World: Philadelphia 76ers.
-Pilot episode: Bynum waits at the airport for White to arrive. He never does.
-Royce is put in the middle when Evan tells Andrew he thinks Nerlens Noel has crazier hair than him.
-Evan catches Allen Iverson crashing in their garage. They argue for hours and decide to settle it with a game of one-on-one. Iverson wins and proceeds to start the next game for Philly.
-Bynum wants to fly to Miami to party. White refuses. They end up watching Dora the Explorer all night.
-Royce discovers a village of small, elf-like creatures living in Bynum’s hair. Bynum explains that they’re what make him good at basketball.
-Royce gets offended when Bynum and Evan come home with matching tattoos of a plane within a giant red circle crossed over with a line. They call it the house crest.
-Evan attempts to steal Christmas. Royce tries to stop him. Bynum stays home and smokes weed.
-Andrew tries to convince the others to go watch the filming of an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; he refuses to believe it shoots in LA.
The possibilities here are really endless. If the NBA won’t grant me my dream of Mormonsanity (my working title for the Jimmer-Boogie duo) or Basketball Husbands (a reality show based on the husbands of WNBA players), they need to at least give me this.
By: Sam Quinn