I wasn’t too confident going in, but Tuesday afternoon would end up giving us plenty to be animated about. A competition that had all the fire of a win or go home playoff. (No, it wasn’t Juventus-Porto.) One that had it all. A spirited spectacle of playacting, diving and instigation. Even Jamie Vardy literally punching himself in the face upon missing multiple chances.
To be honest, that’s essentially the physical embodiment of me losing a game of FIFA Ultimate Team online. Moving on…
Then, we were treated to whatever it was Sevilla attempted to do. A treat that included Samir Nasri falling for the oldest trick in the book. Or one of them, at least. But don’t just take my word for it:
Of course Vardy leans in. And obviously he more or less instigates the entire thing. But he gets his punishment, too. And you just need to know better, Samir. You should know better. Your team, who happened to be in control at the time, is down a goal with less than 20 minutes remaining. And, you’re already on a yellow card! Use your head, man. I mean…
Now I’m sure the English media is reacting to Jamie Vardy’s “clever” attempt to get Nasri sent off the same way they did when Tottenham’s Jan Vertonghen embarrassed himself against Dnipro in the Europa League back in February of 2014:
Oh yes, I’m sure of it. Embarrassing, no? And sure Vertonghen acts a little more than Vardy does with Nasri, but all the components are there. And, all are essential in achieving the end result. Mission accomplished. But remember, Vertonghen isn’t English. Haven’t you heard? English players never cheat. It’s true.
Well I suppose that’s that then. Good on Jamie Vardy and the rest of his Leicester City teammates; they’re on their way to the Champions League quarterfinals! But seriously, think about this:
- Manchester City got through their group, drew Monaco. (They’re most likely moving on.)
- Editor Update: LOL
- Arsenal lost 10-2 on aggregate to Bayern Munich. Nobody seemed surprised.
- Spurs couldn’t even get out of a glorified Europa League group. THEN, they lost to Gent.
- Relegation-threatened Leicester—who just sacked Ranieri!—are in the quarters.
Hang your head in shame, England. What the hell is going on? Well I don’t know anymore. And I’m done trying to tell you. I’m done going out of my way only to end up being wrong. Okay not really. Actually, it’ll probably happen again within the week.
But when will this end? When will this ultra-weird Leicester City roller-coaster take its final twist? Is this just the honeymoon phase under manager Craig Shakespeare? Maybe it will all come crumbling down for them again in a few weeks. Or perhaps it’s the clubs of the English Premier League who are in for a rude awakening. The relegation-threatened ones, at least. I’m not even going to suggest relegation anymore. We already saw what happened last year. And the year before that.
That’s right, the newest miraculous run has only just begun. This is Leicester’s world and we’re all just living in it. Until the Foxes draw Bayern or Barcelona or something then lose by 8-9 goals on aggregate. But until then, you better watch out. Otherwise Jamie Vardy might try to get you to headbutt him.
And we all know what happens when it gets that far.