Hey Premier League fans, welcome back! Did you miss me? Well buckle up, because throughout the Premier League season—that’s right, 38 grueling weeks baby—I’ll be bringing you every thought I can muster.
You want predictions? Maybe! Reactions? Sure! Awards? Perhaps! Hot takes? Well… how about I just agree to try my best?
So let’s get to it, shall we? As always, suggestions are welcome but not always well taken. Anger is encouraged if you direct it somewhere else—I recommend a mirror, for starters. Plaudits are appreciated, just make sure they’re deserved.
Comeback of the Week: Watford
Looking dead in the water after just 21 minutes, the Hornets would not die. Getting one back before the half helped, but a 95th-minute winner—*checks notes* Yep, that’s what it says here—kept Watford in the table’s top half after just seven matches played.
Dramatics aside, Watford are sitting on 12 points with only one loss to show for their efforts. That is, despite conceding more goals (12) than they’ve scored (11). That can’t last forever. So will they be top-half all season? Hah, please. But for now, they’ll take it.
And with the pile of mediocrity below them… well, who knows?
Shock of the Week: Liverpool?
Why are we shocked that Liverpool didn’t win a winnable game exactly? I couldn’t tell you. Perhaps it’s because there wasn’t a whole lot of shock throughout the Premier League this past weekend. Maybe we just keep thinking this will stop.
Liverpool have three draws this season: Watford away, Burnley at home, and now Newcastle away. What gives?
Nobody’s saying it’s simple playing at St. James’ park, but come on. Plus once again, it took a stroke of individual brilliance—this time from Philippe Coutinho—to ultimately salvage a point.
Getting results against top teams is all well and good, but these are the matches title hopefuls need to win. Speaking of, the Reds get Manchester United and Tottenham next. Who else is fully expecting them to grab all six points?
Individual Performance of the Week: Marouane Fellaini
No Paul Pogba? No problem for Manchester United, apparently. Just ask United’s Marouane Fellaini, who has truly come into his own over the last couple of seasons under José Mourinho. As for Saturday’s efforts, he provided Manchester United with two goals from two shots. Not to mention, a 90 percent pass rate.
Oh, they were playing against Crystal Palace? Well nevermind, that changes everything.
Oh wait, good clubs beat bad ones. Or at least that’s the way it’s supposed to go. Manchester United is a good club. Palace is an atrocious one. Nothing to see here. Fellaini is doing great; doesn’t matter who you play. Speaking of…
Honorable Mention: Harry Kane.
Tottenham’s match against Huddersfield Town was over before the half-hour mark. Coming in, the Terriers had allowed three goals all season. They were also unbeaten at home (three matches), conceding just once.
That’s because they hadn’t played Harry Kane before. The Englishman scored twice before 25 minutes were up, then the fraud couldn’t even complete his hat trick. What’s next—he’ll only score once?
Cardiff City remains the only PL club that Kane has played but failed to score against. The international break doesn’t come at the best time for him either—or Tottenham, for that matter.
Yet no matter when Kane plays next, there’s a very good chance he’ll score. That’s what he does. And he’s better than anybody else in the Premier League at it. Fight me.
Whopper of the Week: Crystal Palace
We thought Aston Villa was bad two seasons ago? 7 matches, 7 losses. That’s zero (0) points for Palace, football fans. Oh, and their goal differential stands at -17. It would be slightly better had they scored yet. No, seriously, they haven’t scored yet.
Not to worry, though! I’m sure they’ll get it sorted during the international break. What’s that? Oh, they play Chelsea next? Well, at least they get a couple extra weeks to prepare.
Honorable Mention: Everton.
I feel like if Palace weren’t this atrocious, we’d be talking more about the Toffees. Oh well.
Match of the Week: West Brom vs. Watford
An equalizer in stoppage time as the goalkeeper goes up for a corner? What more could you ask for? I mean, if you’re a neutral of course. Based solely on entertainment factor, West Brom/Watford gets the nod.
Honorable Mention: Manchester City.
What an absolute clinic Pep Guardiola’s squad put on against the defending champions. 0-1 is a very misleading scoreline, for what it’s worth.
Gimme those hot takes: Excluding the international break, Roy Hodgson has one more month.