Who’s going to make it this year? Who’s not? NFL statistics tell us that of the 12 teams that make it, four will likely not the following year.
So who’s going to miss out this year? Who’s going to move in?
The Cowboys obviously have to make it. The pundits would have nothing to pundit about if they didn’t. Because we all know they’ll lose their first- or second-round game to the Giants or Packers—which the league wants for the TV value. There’s a reason the Lions were cheated out of a win against Dallas a few years ago: it was so Dallas would play Green Bay and Dez Bryant could cry about his touchdown catch that wasn’t, according to the rules. The league doesn’t care about the Lions. They are losers, irrelevant and not a good TV draw.
However, Dallas’ chances have decreased (according to me, not the Vegas sharps) because Hall-of-Fame choker Tony Romo has moved to the broadcast booth. But let’s face it: Dallas has been irrelevant on its own on the field no matter who’s been playing quarterback the last 20 years.
The Giants look like lead-pipe locks to make it after bringing their offense up to their defense’s level this offseason. Then again, Eli is their quarterback and you never know which Eli is going to show up: the one who makes miracle-like clutch throws or the one who throws more picks in a game than Brady throws in a season.
I like Atlanta but with Dan Quinn coaching, you know they have a choke in them somewhere along the line. I’m sorry, Dan, but you have literally given away two Super Bowls. Until you win one, you’re a choker. Hopefully for them, their next choke job is not against New Orleans in the game that decides the division title.
Green Bay is in. It’s just a question of how far they go, which is about as far as Aaron Rodgers can throw a Hail Mary. Last year he threw one key Hail Mary that fell incomplete. But then again, Olivia Munn is not Richard Rodgers.
In the AFC, everyone likes Pittsburgh. Why though? Their best defensive player is older than me and Ben Roethlisberger has not completed a clutch playoff pass since Super Bowl XLIII to Santonio Holmes. Hell, he lost a playoff game to Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow!!!
New England, let’s face it, will be back. Everyone there remembers to do their jobs. Except Brady. If he can remember it. Right, Gisele?
Sorry, Miami, Houston and Kansas City. We all know you have no chance and are not worth mentioning.
Oakland is interesting and is the sexy bet this year. They’re young, athletic, have a good line, a good coach and now, Beast Mode…
Who only shows up so he won’t get fined. Which means they’re done because on a key 2nd-and-goal from the 1 with a playoff spot on the line, they’ll call a look-in pass instead of a Beast Mode off-tackle run.
So who sneaks in instead? Chicago, the Rams, the Eagles and Browns, of course.
If they can get tickets.